sooner or later my hear will stop skipping a beat in hope that it’s your name on the screen when i get a text.
You taught me what it’s really like to love someone. Every other person has been no one compared to you.
But i can’t have you.
And now, i can’t have anyone.
2:23am – I think I’m going to get in the bath, fill it with milk and just sleep in it.
3:02am – Am I the only one that can’t feel my feet? It looks like they’re still attached, but I’m not convinced–I think I might be paralyzed.
3:03am – Ok, I feel my feet again, but can no longer feel my elbows. Both of them have gone numb. I should prank call people and pretend to be Hulk Hogan.
3:17am – The guy that brought these hash brownies is a little crazy. What the fu@k was I thinking eating these? What if there’s poison in them? I need to make sure everyone else eats them too–that way we ALL die.
3:43am – I’m having sex? I’m having sex! Am I wearing a condom? I’m wearing a condom! Look, there’s another brownie on the window sill!
4:23am – How am I still having sex? Usually I’m asleep after a couple minutes. Who’s making all that noise? Oh snap, there’s a ant on the ceiling. I wonder if he gets dizzy up there? I’d get dizzy up there. Wow, I’m sort of dizzy right now.
4:30am – Do I hear more people in the kitchen? Yes, they just lit another joint. I don’t know if I should smoke — I’m so high right now. I wonder if there is a God?
5:01am – Why are these people still in my house? When that girl turns her head I’m going to steal her bagel.
5:03am – I don’t give a sh!t if she knows I took the bagel. This is my house and I’ll eat whomever’s bagel. I took the bagel, so fu@k you. I saw you drink all my fruit punch when you got here.
5:15am – I’m freaking out right now. I think I’m dying. Maybe I should go back to college. Does my breath smell? Does this girl think she’s sleeping in my bed? Oh, another cupcake.
5:22am – I think there was cream cheese and turkey in that bagel. I would have never thought to mix those two things on my own. If I cut my thumb off would I get disability checks from the government? Whatever happened to Boys II Men? I should buy a chocolate factory. I wish I was a lion.
5:37am – I can’t sleep with this girl in my bed. She’s like 120 degrees. I’m going to start sweating. I should draw a dick on her face. I shouldn’t of eaten that girl’s bagel–it was wrong of me. I wonder if Jurassic Park is a real place?
9:00am – Hey girl! You’re alarm is ringing loud as hell. Get out of — bahahahah is that a dick on her face!?
2:22pm – I’m still high. I forgot to take my contacts out. I didn’t die? I’m going back to sleep.
Ruby tuesday By the rolling stones
-Franco Battiato version